Complete list of 2007 Quotes of the Day

1/2/07
“A billion people decided to call me.” –Chris, in reference to 7 voicemails“That’s a lot of people, that’s a sixth of the world's population.” –Matt J.“I’m like McDonalds.” –Chris

1/2/07
Discussion during an IT Meeting:“I’m reading my daughter Charlotte’s Web right now.” –Greg
“My mother in law took the girls to see Charlotte’s Web and she didn’t know that Charlotte died at the end.–Wayne
“WHAT?! CHARLOTTE DIES?!! I’m only on chapter 8.” –Greg
"You know Wilbur dies too, they cook him for dinner at the end." –Claudia

1/4/07
"He yelled at me for calling them 'account reps'. He said they were supposed to be called 'virtual bookstore managers' but that takes too long to say." -Alicia
"Just call them the Virtual BM's." -Matt J.

1/8/07
"I have been notified that we are changing our business model from schools to doctors offices. Because of this the schools have all been removed and will be replaced. The Virtual BM's will now be known as VDs." –Greg

1/16/07
Miscommunication in the IT department:
"You know, that's really one of his most redeeming qualities." -Matt J.
"What?... Mustard Eating?-Greg
"No, MOST REDEEMING." -Matt J.

1/18/07
"There's been a trend to think outside the box the last few years. Well some people need to think a little more inside the box. " -Matt J., not complaining about anyone we work with

1/19/07
"It's pointless because we don't know what we're doing." -MJ
"Well if that stopped us..." -Greg

"What have you been doing all morning?" -Erin
"Chasing ghosts." -Greg
"Is that the same thing as chasing fuzzy bunnies?"-Erin

2/2
"I stopped in for some brownies and the office was empty – so I grabbed a few (quite a few) and ran like the dickens..." –Dan

2/5
"The Super Bowl half time show was lame. It was just Prince, who is this tiny little man who wears a size zero, and he had on a do-rag, and I thought 'Prince, you look stupid'. He was no Janet Jackson, that's for sure." -Erin
"They're trying to stick with safer people...Paul McCartney for example." -Chris
"Ew, he's wrinkly and old. His wife is really young though." -Erin
"Oh yeah, his one-legged wife? Already divorced." -Claudia
"What?! He has a one-legged wife?!" -Erin, as she types away on her keyboard
"Oh my goodness, are you googling her?" –Claudia
"Yes, I'm googling 'Paul McCartney's one legged ex-wife.' Wow, her prosthetic is amazing!" -Erin (now there's a keyword search only an Internet Marketing person would come up with)

"...and Billy Joel sang the National Anthem, which I hate. I think we should just do away with it." -Erin, on her distaste for the Star Spangled Banner

2/20
"I don’t believe there was a man in my car unless he was a leprechaun….you never know, it could have been, it’s that time of year again for the leprechauns to reappear." -Amy, in reference to her car possibly being broken in to today

2/21
"Have they approved the Valentine's Day page yet?" -Chris, (note the date: 2/21/07)
"Of course not." -Claudia
"You should just go ahead and put Easter bunnies on the site...or pirates... oooh, or bunnies with eye patches." -Chris
"You could have the 3 wise pirates." "I brought you myhrrrrr, arrrr." –Greg

2/28
“Sometimes you explain things to people and they hear you, but they hear you WRONG, and then when they repeat it, it comes out as total crap. We’re basically running a crap transformation service.” –Greg

3/5
"Coming home from Iraq and proposing to your girlfriend is like going to the grocery store hungry." -Shannon

3/7
new guy to Erica, after wandering around the warehouse for 15 minutes:
"Where are the bathrooms? I found the one, but where are the ones we use?"
"Oh, those are the bathrooms we use." –Erica
"Reminds me a little of a frat house." -new guy

3/8
"Son of a b*#$%... I don't have peripheral vision."-Greg, in response to finding out from Chris and MJ that there is wall of boogers in the men's restroom

3/9
"Hey, can we put a picture of my dog on the homepage?"-Barry, on his latest graphic design request

3/15
"Mmmm, it has an after taste. I wish I had a beer to wash it down with... no wonder the German immigrants liked this stuff."-Bobby, after trying a Northern Kentucky meat and oatmeal concoction called 'goetta'

3/19
Erin, staring at her computer screen, attempting to download a program:
"There's a lot of stuff on here that I don't understand." -Erin
"What? Words?!" -Greg, being the ever helpful IT guy that he is

3/20
"I was mad at my parents for having my sisters after me. I wanted to be an only child. When I was a kid I used to tell my sister we were going to throw her out of the car and I'd shake her car seat back and forth and she'd scream." -Erin
"My sister tried to poison me." -Bobby
"How?!" -Erin
"Made me drink perfume... I could have died. She wanted to have a tea party, but I didn't want to play with her, so she poured some nasty Avon perfume into a cup and made me drink it." – Bobby

3/21
"Stupid people breed more... that's why my family is so big." –Bobby

3/22
"I keep getting this eww eww report that keeps on getting executed. Is that bad?"-New key account rep guy, in reference to the OO (Open Orders) Report

3/22
Marriage advice from Bobby's Dad:
"Son, stay away from guns and married women; they'll both kill you."
"He was right. I'm married, and I'm slowly dying." –Bobby

3/23
"There will be times when you want to throw your child out the window, and it's not because you're a psychopath." -Greg's advice to Bobby on being a father
"Just because you have a vasectomy does not give you permission to be promiscuous." -Greg
"Don't be afraid to spank your kids."-Greg
"Oh I will beat their ass. I ain't scared to hit a baby."-Bobby

4/3
"Everything that made me happy, I've given up... smoking, drugs..." –Greg

4/16
"There's this new kid in customer service, and he's about to get my stiletto boot up his ass."-Erica, commenting on why she dresses up for work on occassion

4/20
"I've got a little redneck in me, you just can't tell with my seafoam green shirt tucked in my khakis."-Kerry, clearly not a redneck since he used the word 'sea foam' to describe the shade of green he's wearing

4/23
Alicia to Erin, in reference to why there was a $600 bible on our website:"Did Jesus hand write that bible or something?"

4/25
“Aren't you sneaky." -Claudia, to Matt Taylor in reference to creating a fake account on CJ
"Sneaky is my middle name; yours is Gertrude." -Matt Taylor

4/26
Chris Jones via Instant Messenger at his Union Buyback)
"Ok, so this Irish exchange student comes up to me wanting to know how much I'll pay him for a 2001 2nd year Spanish text. I look it up and its like 1 dollar, but I tell him that I'll give him 5 just to be nice. Here's what's wrong with people watching American Idol...He tells me that he'd rather just donate the book to the people of Africa, cuz he wants to support them. WHAT THE HELL is a starving kid in Africa going to do with a SPANISH book?You can't bake it into a cake."

5/1
"I don't like 'Little People, Big World' because they pretend like they are normal. They are all like, 'we can do everything regular people can do,' but they can't, because if i hold a donut up here they can't reach it." -Erin, in a particularly un-PC mood

5/14"I can't wait until I'm old enough to where I can fart and think it's thunder."-Bobby, in reference to an elderly relative with alzheimers, who seemed to mistake her own gas as thunder, wow.

5/23"Where is google? Are they close to the beach?"-Claudia
"I don't know, I'll google it." –Erin

5/25
"It's hot out here. What am I doing wearing a long sleeved shirt?" -Kerry
"yeah, I want to take off my pants!" –Bobby

6/1
"If we don't stop talking about food, I'm going to chew right through my desk."-Matt Taylor, at 10am in the morning, in response to Erin describing all the different ways she cooks fish

6/5
A discussion on Billy Donovan's inability to make up his mind:
"This guy needs to check his pants for dude parts." -Matt Taylor
"Yeah, he keeps changing his mind." -Bobby
"It's 'cause he's got no sack." -MT
"I'd sell mine for the amount of money he's going to be making." –Bobby

6/12
"Hey, will you turn that fan on? I'm hot,... and it's warm in here." -M. Taylor

6/15
"I like cicadas, they only come out every seven years." -Erin
"I'd rather wait for Hailey's comet- that's every seven years too." -Lisa
"umm, isn't it every seventy-five years?" –Chris

"I love rush!" -Erin
"Yeah, you never know what's going to happen. It's kind of like a box of chocolates." -Lisa
"It's more like being on acid." –Bobby

6/18
aaaah, summertime at ecampus.com
"I've decided, since it's going to be hot tomorrow, I'm not going to wear any pants." -Bobby
"No pants?" -Chris
"Nope, just my boxers, and a fanny pack- that's where I'll keep my wallet. " –Bobby

6/19
"My stomach hurts when I cough. What does that mean?" -Matt T.
(simultaneously)
"You're dying." -Claudia
"You have cancer." –Erin

6/20
discussion on the new reference page categories:
"Aviation Reference? Seriously?" -Claudia
"Yeah, they want it on there." -Erin
"Man, those books are just gonna fly off the shelves... get it?" –Claudia

6/29
Yes, I'm finally hitting puberty." -Bobby
"You're going to be all grown up!" -Claudia
"Yeah, I heard you start thinking different about girls." –Bobby

6/30
things are falling apart in the internet marketing department...
"Why's everything going haywire?! CJ's down, our website's not working, google's not performing, and I didn't wear my Depends today and there's a mess in my chair." -M.Taylor

7/5
She didn't think Ryan Phillipe was hot." -Matt Taylor, on his girlfriend's taste in guys
"She does however think that Conan O'Brian is hot, which I guess explains why she's dating me." -Matt T.

7/9
"Jason is so creative!" -Erin
"Yeah, he really is! We need to keep him, too bad he's going to the Air Force. Doesn't he know it's eCampus-be all you can be?" –Claudia

7/10
Can you throw me an orange starburst?” –Erin, to Jason(Jason goes for a lime green starburst, and gets ready to throw it to Erin)
“No Jason, that’s a green one!” –Erin
“Oh, y’all don’t know this yet- I’m completely colorblind. That’s right-I’m a colorblind graphic designer.” –Jason…and being on credit hold and not having books in stock is suddenly the least of our concerns…

7/11
"He's never going to return phone calls unless we pay him."-Chris, in reference to Greg ignoring eCampus distress calls
"Money's not going to do anything! That's like saying, here, I'll pay you to go to hell." –Greg

7/13
"We gotta get on the same page!" -Barry
"You gotta get on MY page. I'm on a good page." –Erica

7/17
"She's got a rash! It's not like she's got cancer!"-Bobby, in reference to leaving his wife by herself for hours in the waiting room with a bad case of poison ivy

7/23
"You know what the white guy said as he was sliding down the leg of a zebra?"-Sans
"What?"-Claudia
"Now you see me, ...now you don't." -Sans
"It's really 'what did the black guy say?' but that seems kind of racist." –Sans

7/24
"Who's the interior designer?!" -Barry, looking into the new internet marketing office
"Matt Taylor." -Claudia
"I see you've been watching a little HG TV." -Barry
"You mean Queer Eye?" –Jason

7/26
"You're supposed to teach a man to fish."-Mike, to Claudia, in reference to learning how to put up a storefront
"...or if you're Jesus-just give him a fish." –Bobby

7/28
"Quit making fun of me!" -MT
"I can't help it that you wear girl colors." -Erin
"Well I like colors.... and I like girls." –MT

7/29
"Why don't they let you do your job and design this page? You're the graphic designer... the stars don't pick out their own clothes!" -James, in reference to the suggestion that the cucumber girls reappear on the homepage

7/30
"You know what I brought back this weekend...? ...other than sexy?" –Erin

7/31
Launch Meeting Conference Call:
"...that's a question for Mike, he's our Virtual Bookstore Manager Manager."-Megan

8/1
email to Shannon Adams from a customer:

Dear Sadam,
I would like to delete the following 2 books from my shipment #4256524Social Studies Textbook Grade 4 and Science Textbook Grade 4Thank you for your assistance

8/6
"Oh my holy God, there is so much laffy taffy in my belly right now." -Matt Taylor, after binging on starbursts, laffy taffy and an ice cream buster bar

8/9
"Do you know who Charles Bronson is?" -Matt Taylor
"Do you mean Pierce Brosnan?" -Claudia Mack confusing an old Kung-Fu actor with James Bond.

8/13
"I watched the original Ninja Turtles movie last night and it was exactly as I remembered it... freakin' awesome." –Jason

8/14
"I have the best girlfriend. She's at home ironing my shirts right now." -Matt Taylor
"You should buy her flowers." -Erin
"Flowers die and they're 50 bucks. What about I get her a savings bond?"-Matt Taylor

8/15
"Yeah, I am going shopping this weekend for Tapestries." Matt Taylor, on how he wants to decorate his room
"Do you mean pastries?" Claudia

8/17
"Do you see those lights up there? My wife wouldn't let me get those because they look like boobs."-James Jackson, in reference to the light fixtures at Johnny Carino's

8/18
A discussion on marriage:
"It's fun!" -Erin
"It's also permanent." -Matt Taylor
"Yeah, but it's FUN." -Erin
"That's the same reason I haven't gotten a tattoo." –Matt

8/23
"Let’s recap: you started this, I am sitting here with a desk full of Styrofoam popcorn, and I’m the bully? Why do I feel like I’m in the movie Big Daddy and I’m on the losing end of the “I win” game." -Corey, on how he's a big bully

9/2
"I saw Corey out this weekend and I hugged him." -James
"He didn't just hug me, he did a little dance like a leprachaun, and then he hugged me. It was awkward." –Corey

9/10
"It's tickling her nose." -James, in reference to his facial hair
"Man, give it one more week and mine will be tickling toes." -Matt Taylor

9/13
"I'm so hungry I could eat the ass end of a dead rhino."-Matt Taylor, in reference to having to wait until 12:30 to eat lunch

9/14
"Brutish, under developed people usually rely on their baser instincts. Like a caveman."-Jason, in reference to Matt talking about punching his high school baseball coach

9/15
I love everything about Christmas. I love Christmas music, decorations, Christmas candy, Christmas cookies. I can't wait." -Erin
"I'd rather have a rash." –Bobby

9/26
A girl totally makes the decisions in a relationship." -Corey
"I think my back hand makes the decisions." –Shannon

10/3
"Just pretend like it's a well oiled male model and study every inch of it."-Matt Taylor, to Jason, in reference to a really hard test that Jason has to study for

10/4
"You know what I hate the most about this place......disorganization, You know what I love the most about this place.......disorganization." –Sans

10/5
"That's the only way for mankind to survive... stop having children." –Shannon

10/10
"Everyone seems to be happy with ecampus now that they've moved into their new offices."-Scot Styer
"Well... you still can't polish a turd." -Greg Hillis

10/17
"My phone is ringing!" -Jason
"What does it say?" -Claudia
"It says my phone's unplugged now." -Jason, as he pulls the plug on his phone

10/18
I'm working on a presentation for Mark. The topic is "Eliminating the Communication Gap Between IT and Web Marketing". -Claudia
"Eliminating the communication gap? There is no communication gap between IT and Marketing... I'm in here talking to you all half the day." -Bobby (maybe he should give this presentation)

10/22

"First of all, you're not Hawaiian." -Matt Taylor
"I think I'm going with that."-Jason
"Oh god, you're an illegal alien!"-Erin
"Erin, that's a state." Jason and Matt

10/29
“Man, they are gonna $#%* in my Blizzard now aren’t they? It’s gonna be a shizzard.” –Matt Taylor

10/30
"hey Matt, do you get any trick-or-treaters where you live?" -Erin
"Yes." -Matt
"Do you hand out candy?"-Erin
"No-I just bring them into my basement." –Matt

11/7
"I hate Christmas. Can we please at least wait until the third trimester to start celebrating it?"-Bobby

11/21
"Don't make me take you to the bathroom to get a spanking!" -Bobby
"That's what she said." –Shannon

11/26
"I'm dressing up as Santa, so Jason- I fully expect you to dress up as my elf...my dirty, naughty little elf." -Matt Taylor

11/29
“Where’s all this glitter coming from?” –Claudia
“There’s glitter all over those balls.” –Matt
“That’s what she said.” -Erin

12/14
"I bet all three of 'em where in there at the same time, having a contest... and then said-ok, now let's get these young people in here to clean up this $h*t!" -Matt, in reference to the mess in the men's bathroom

12/18
"I'm going to report you to HR!" -Erin, to Shannon"Well, we're not at work, sweet cheeks." –Shannon

12/29
"Your mom goes to college." -Corey
"Corey- I've had about enough of your mom today!" -Erin
"That's what she said." –JJ